Reflexive Pronouns: Myself, Yourself, Themselves and More
Reflexive pronouns are the words that end in -self or -selves: myself, yourself, themselves. Learn when English needs them, when it does not, and how they differ from each other.
By LearnLingo Team · Updated
Form
| Subject pronoun | Object pronoun | Reflexive pronoun | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| I | me | myself | I taught myself to play the guitar. |
| you (one person) | you | yourself | Help yourself to some cake. |
| he | him | himself | He hurt himself playing football. |
| she | her | herself | She looked at herself in the mirror. |
| it | it | itself | The door locks itself. |
| we | us | ourselves | We enjoyed ourselves at the party. |
| you (more than one) | you | yourselves | Kids, behave yourselves! |
| they | them | themselves | They introduced themselves to the class. |
Singular forms end in -self and plural forms end in -selves. Notice the spelling: himself and themselves (not hisself or theirselves), and yourself for one person but yourselves for a group. For an unknown or general person we use oneself in formal English and themselves or themself in everyday English.
| Use | Meaning | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Reflexive object | the subject does the action to itself | Be careful, you'll burn yourself. |
| Emphasis | that person and nobody else, or without help | The manager herself called me. I painted the room myself. |
| by + reflexive | alone, or without help | He lives by himself. Can you do it by yourself? |
| Form | Meaning | Example |
|---|---|---|
| themselves, ourselves, yourselves | each person does the action to himself or herself | They looked at themselves in the mirror. (each one saw their own face) |
| each other, one another | each person does the action to the other person | They looked at each other. (A looked at B and B looked at A) |
One another means the same as each other. Some people prefer it for groups of more than two, but both are correct in modern English.
When the subject and object are the same
The basic use of a reflexive pronoun is as the object of a verb or preposition when it refers to the same person or thing as the subject. Compare: She hurt her (she hurt another woman) and She hurt herself (she was hurt, and she did it). Without the reflexive pronoun, the listener thinks of a different person.
Common verbs with reflexive objects include hurt, cut, burn, enjoy, introduce, teach, blame, help (yourself to), behave, express, prepare, remind, look at, talk to, take care of and be proud of. Enjoy is a special case: it always needs an object, so if you do not say what you enjoyed, use a reflexive: We enjoyed ourselves, not We enjoyed.
Use the normal object pronoun after prepositions of place: She put her bag next to her, not next to herself. Here the meaning is location, and English uses me, him, her and so on.
I cut myself while I was making dinner.
Did you enjoy yourselves at the concert?
Speaking to a group, so yourselves.
Don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault.
Please help yourself to coffee.
Help yourself means take what you want; it is a polite offer.
He closed the door behind him.
After a preposition of place we use the object pronoun, not himself.
For emphasis: the person and nobody else
A reflexive pronoun can also add emphasis. It shows that we mean that person or thing and nobody else, or that someone did something without help. In this use the sentence is still complete without the reflexive pronoun; it just becomes less strong.
The emphatic pronoun usually comes at the end of the clause (I built it myself) or directly after the noun it emphasises (The president himself answered the letter). Put stress on it when you speak: I made it MYSELF.
Did you cook all this yourself?
The hotel itself was lovely, but the beach was dirty.
I spoke to the director herself.
We designed the website ourselves.
You said it yourself: we need more time.
Yourself here means you, and not me, said it.
By myself: alone or without help
By + reflexive pronoun means alone or without help. It is very common in everyday English: I live by myself, Can you get home by yourself?
The phrase on my own, on your own and so on has the same meaning and is just as common: She travelled round Asia on her own. Be careful not to mix the two: say by myself or on my own, never by my own.
My grandmother still lives by herself.
Can your son tie his shoes by himself yet?
I don't like eating on my own in restaurants.
They fixed the car by themselves.
Verbs that are not reflexive in English
In many languages, verbs like wash, dress, relax and feel are reflexive. In English they normally are not. We say I got up, had a shower and got dressed, not I dressed myself, unless there is a special reason, such as a young child or someone who is ill learning to do it alone.
Common verbs that usually take no reflexive pronoun: relax, feel, concentrate, meet, wash, shave, dress (get dressed), wake up, sit down, lie down, hurry, worry, remember, complain. Say I feel tired, not I feel myself tired, and Let's meet at six, not Let's meet ourselves. Many phrasal verbs like calm down and get ready also work without a reflexive.
Some of these verbs can take a reflexive when you want to stress effort: He washed himself carefully after surgery. But the simple version is the normal one.
I can't concentrate with all this noise.
Not concentrate myself.
Just sit down and relax.
She got dressed quickly and ran to the bus.
Do you feel better today?
Calm down, everything will be fine.
Reflexive pronouns or each other?
With a plural subject, there are two possible meanings. Themselves means each person does the action to himself or herself. Each other means the action goes from one person to the other.
They blamed themselves means each person said it was their own fault. They blamed each other means each person said it was the other person's fault. The meaning is very different, so choose carefully. Each other also has a possessive form: They borrow each other's clothes.
Tom and Anna have known each other since school.
The players were proud of themselves after the match.
We send each other messages every day.
In real life
Several fixed expressions with reflexive pronouns are very common in conversation. Help yourself offers food or drink. Make yourself at home welcomes a guest. Enjoy yourself or Behave yourself are said to people going out. Take care of yourself is a warm goodbye. I wasn't myself means I did not feel or act normal. Between ourselves means this is a secret.
In informal speech, people sometimes use myself instead of me (Contact John or myself), especially in business English. Many speakers consider this incorrect, so in careful English say Contact John or me. For more about pronoun choice, see possessive adjectives and pronouns.
Come in and make yourself at home.
Sorry about yesterday. I wasn't myself.
I did not feel or behave as I normally do.
Have a great trip and look after yourself.
Between ourselves, I don't think he'll get the job.
Did you hurt yourself? You fell quite hard.
Common mistakes
We enjoyed very much at the party.
We enjoyed ourselves very much at the party.
Enjoy always needs an object. If you do not say what you enjoyed, use a reflexive pronoun.
I feel myself tired today.
I feel tired today.
Feel is not reflexive in English. Many languages use a reflexive here, which is why learners add myself.
They did it theirselves.
They did it themselves.
The correct forms are themselves and himself. Theirselves and hisself are not standard English.
Me and Sara looked at ourselves and laughed.
Sara and I looked at each other and laughed.
When the action goes from one person to the other, use each other. Ourselves means each person looked at their own self. Also, as a subject, say Sara and I, not Me and Sara, in careful English.
He finished the project by his own.
He finished the project by himself.
Say by himself or on his own. By his own is a mix of the two phrases and is not correct.
Practice quiz
10 questions. Pick an answer to see if it is right and why.
1. Be careful with that knife. You'll cut ___.
2. We had a great time. We really enjoyed ___.
3. Choose the correct sentence.
4. The two sisters write to ___ every week.
5. What does She lives by herself mean?
6. Kids, please behave ___ while I'm out.
7. Choose the correct sentence.
8. The film ___ was boring, but the music was great.
9. Which sentence uses a reflexive pronoun for emphasis?
10. The machine turns ___ off after ten minutes.
0 of 10 answered
Show all answers
- yourself
- ourselves
- I can't concentrate.
- each other
- She lives alone.
- yourselves
- He put the box next to him.
- itself
- She built the shed herself.
- itself
See what the B1 English course covers, or test your level first.
People also ask
What are the 8 reflexive pronouns in English?+
They are myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, yourselves and themselves. There is also oneself for a general person in formal English, and themself, which some speakers use for one person whose gender is unknown or not binary.
Is it correct to say Contact John or myself?+
It is common, especially in office English, but many teachers and editors consider it incorrect because myself is not referring back to I. The safe choice is Contact John or me.
What is the difference between by myself and on my own?+
They mean the same thing: alone or without help. Both are natural in British and American English. Just do not mix them into by my own.
Why don't we say I washed myself in English?+
You can say it, and it is correct, but English usually leaves out the reflexive when the meaning is clear: I washed, I had a shower, I got dressed. We add myself only when we want to stress the effort, for example after an injury.
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