How to Make Polite Requests in English

Quick Answer: To make a polite request in English, turn a command into a question with could you or would you and add please: Could you open the window, please? For extra politeness, use Would you mind opening the window? or I was wondering if you could help me. To ask for things, say I'd like or Could I have instead of I want.

Key takeaways

• Politeness grows with indirectness: Pass the salt, Can you, Could you, Would you mind, I was wondering if you could.
• Could you is softer than can you and does not refer to the past in requests.
• After would you mind, use the -ing form: Would you mind waiting?
• To agree to Would you mind, answer no: No, not at all. Of course not.
• Do you mind if I open takes the present; Would you mind if I opened takes the past and is more polite.
• Please alone does not make a command polite: Please give me the file still sounds like an order.

A direct command like Give me the salt is grammatically correct, but in English it can sound rude because politeness usually comes from indirect question forms. Turkish speakers often translate Bana tuzu verir misin? word for word, but the natural English is Could you pass me the salt?

The politeness scale

Level	Request	When to use
Direct	Pass the salt.	Close family, urgent situations
Casual	Can you pass the salt?	Friends, family, colleagues you know well
Polite	Could you pass the salt, please?	Most everyday situations
More polite	Would you mind passing the salt?	Strangers, customers, managers
Very polite	I was wondering if you could pass the salt.	Formal situations, big favors

The longer and more indirect the request, the more polite it usually sounds.

Asking someone to do something

Can you and could you

• Can you help me with this box?
• Could you send me the file, please?

Could is softer than can. In a request, could does not refer to the past. Read more in our guide to can and could.

Will you and would you

• Will you close the door? (can sound a bit direct)
• Would you close the door, please? (polite)

Would you mind plus -ing

• Would you mind waiting a moment?
• Would you mind not smoking here?

Remember: after would you mind, use the -ing form.

• Wrong: Would you mind to open the window?
• Right: Would you mind opening the window?

Indirect requests

• I was wondering if you could help me with my CV.
• Do you think you could give me a lift?
• Would it be possible to change my appointment?

These are excellent for emails and formal situations.

Asking for permission

Phrase	Example
Can I	Can I use your phone?
Could I	Could I leave early today?
May I	May I come in? (formal)
Do you mind if I	Do you mind if I open the window?
Would you mind if I	Would you mind if I sat here?
Is it OK if I	Is it OK if I bring a friend?

Note the tense: Do you mind if I open, but Would you mind if I opened. The past form makes it even more polite.

Asking for things

In shops, cafes and restaurants, avoid I want.

• Direct: I want a coffee.
• Polite: I'd like a coffee, please.
• Polite: Could I have a coffee, please?
• Polite: Can I get a coffee? (common in American English)

For more phrases, see how to order food in a restaurant in English.

Softening words

Small words make a request sound friendlier.

• please: Could you help me, please?
• just: Could I just ask a quick question?
• possibly: Could you possibly call me back?
• a bit, a little: Could you speak a bit more slowly?
• sorry to bother you: Sorry to bother you, but could you help me?
• if you have time: Could you check this if you have time?

Replying to requests

Saying yes

• Sure.
• Of course.
• No problem.
• Certainly. (formal)
• Yes, of course. Here you are.

Saying yes to would you mind

This is a trap. Would you mind means does it bother you? So to agree, you say no.

• Would you mind closing the door? No, not at all. (I'll close it)
• Do you mind if I sit here? Of course not. Go ahead.

If you say Yes, I do, you are refusing.

Saying no politely

Do not just say no. Give a reason or an alternative.

• I'm sorry, but I can't right now. Maybe later?
• I'm afraid I'm busy this afternoon.
• I'd love to, but I have a meeting.

Polite requests in emails

• Could you please send me the report by Friday?
• I would be grateful if you could confirm the date.
• Would it be possible to reschedule our meeting?
• Please let me know if you have any questions.

See more in business email phrases.

Common mistakes

Mistake	Better
Give me a water.	Could I have some water, please?
I want the bill.	Could we have the bill, please? (US: check)
Would you mind to help me?	Would you mind helping me?
Can you to call me?	Can you call me?
Please give me information.	Could you give me some information, please?

Another common mistake is relying only on please. In English, please alone does not make a command polite. Please give me the file still sounds like an order. A question form like Could you give me the file, please? is much better.

Practice quiz

Make these requests more polite.

1. Open the window.
2. I want a tea.
3. Speak slowly.
4. Would you mind (help) me?
5. Answer the question: Would you mind if I used your pen?

Answers:

1. Could you open the window, please?
2. I'd like a tea, please. Or: Could I have a tea, please?
3. Could you speak a bit more slowly, please?
4. Would you mind helping me?
5. No, not at all. Go ahead.

Practice real conversations

Polite requests come up in shops, offices and on phone calls. The free LearnLingo A2 course includes everyday conversations where you practice asking for things politely.

People Also Ask

What is the most polite way to ask for something in English?

Phrases like I was wondering if you could and Would you mind are among the most polite. Could you is polite enough for most everyday situations.

Is can you rude in English?

No, can you is fine with friends, family and in casual situations. With strangers, customers or managers, could you or would you sounds more polite.

How do I answer would you mind?

Would you mind asks if something bothers you, so a positive answer is negative in form: No, not at all, or Of course not. Saying yes means you do mind.

Is I want rude in English?

I want can sound direct or demanding in requests, especially in shops and restaurants. I'd like or Could I have sounds much more polite.

Related Reading

• Can and Could: Ability, Requests and Permission
• How to Order Food in a Restaurant in English
• Business Email Phrases
• English for Phone Calls